Custody of an 11 month old?

hello...so my daughter sees her dad when "he feels like it" I have tried to keep him in her life but he is 24 and feels his social life and video games r more important and then when he feels like seeing her he expects met o drop everything and get on a train to come see him 2 hours away. He does not pay child support bc he is not on her birth certif and I did not want to worry about all that court stuff...to me it's just not worth all the grief that comes along with it and I know he is struggling to begin with. So at the moment I am getting my life together preparing to continue to do this on my own but i also feel that i need to protect myself so i am wondering...even though he has been a deadbeat dad for the most part (harsh i know, but tru)...how do i get full custody of my daughter....does he need to be contacted when i go about doing this or bc he is not on her bc and she does not have his last name or ne involvement in her life and dna has not be est., can i just do it on my own without getting him involved?