I have a big problem and need some relationship advice.. please listen.?

This week, I think has been the craziest emotional rollercoaster ever. On Saturday, Feb 18th my girlfriend and I decided that we should break up. It was actually her decision. On sunday night, we made it official that we will not see eachother anymore. On Monday night, I ped by her job bec she wanted to talk. I decided to end things off on good terms. We hugged it out and I told her that things will only get better for her now that the fighting and arguing are behind her. (i said this bec all we do is fight about bull ****). Wed night I came to her and apologized for acting that way and asked her for another chance. She gave me that chance. On sunday, yesterday, we went to the beach to feed the birds and i have to say that must have been the best time i have had with any girl in my life. We kissed on the jetties (rocks near the ocean) it had to be the most romantic thing ever. After being on the beach for a few hours, we decided to leave. She went home and so did I. When she text me to ask what I was doing an hour later, I told her i was home resting and that we'd meet up later. Without my knowledge, she ped by my house and didnt see my car in front of the house. She automatically umed that I wasnt home and was lying to her. She thought that I ditched her to hang out with my friends. Mean while, My car was parked in the back. Instead of knocking on my door to find out if i was actually home, she accused me of lying. Her exact words were, "ur ****** lting, Im 2737392927373% sure ur not ****** home. When I sent her a picture message of my television in my house she then told me that i prob just got home. After that she told me we were done and to never see eachother anymore. This whole arguement started bec she wanted to move in with me. She actually called my mother last monday to talk to her about it. So i spoke to my mother and told her exactly what was going so she can hear both sides of the story. after my mother heard that story my mom asked if i still love her. and i told her that after all she put me through that ive grown out of love. so my mother told me to stop tagging her a long if i really felt this way. my mother also told me that the reason she came by to see if i was actually home is bec she is self conciece about me. I am not sure but after the talk with my mom I realized how finished i am with this relationship. My x gf came to my house to talk to me. I came outside and we spoke. She said she still wants to be with me. Then I told her that I think shes self concience and that i shouldnt take her along for the ride (exactly what my mom had said.. very stupid of me) I also told her that I didnt love her anymore. She didnt believe me. She prob still doesnt believe me. but when she asked why i was saying thgns like that i told her, "I am saying this bec i want you to leave, and i never want you to come back." I have never said such harsh words to a person in my life and Ive been sending her texts all morning apologizing for ending a relationship so badly. I feel horrible for the way that i spoke to her. i still love her and want to be with her, but deep down i think i said that to her so the next time i try to get back together with her, she says no. I think this relationship is officially over and is giving me more then 1 reason to cry over it. advice would be apprciated.